Reviews The Last Beacon by Tony J Fyler

Tony’s off for a yomp in the rain.

Torchwood, like its mother-programme, has long proved itself capable of telling any kind of story. It can give a spin to any scenario that makes it somehow distinctly Torchwood.

The Last Beacon is Torchwood – The Odd Couple, as Ianto – clever, enthusiastic but grounded Welsh Valleys boy Ianto – is sent hiking off into the hills of the Welsh Valleys, almost with a ‘Val-da-reeeeee’ on his lips…in the company of Owen Harper. Owen, the sarcastic omni-arse. Owen, the sneery English git who’s never happy unless he’s partying, and who thinks even Cardiff’s a bit of a snoozefest.

What could possibly go wrong?

As it happens, not that much by Torchwood standards – yes, there are locals and yokels and ghost miners and psychic badgers from outer space, but really, this is a lightweight mission into the countryside (at least when you consider that the last time these two went into the Welsh countryside was in…erm…Countrycide, one of the most unremittingly grim episodes of TV Torchwood). But what it lacks in scary ghastliness, The Last Beacon more than makes up for in character and relationship comedy, and the sheer joy of hearing Owen Harper moan. About everything.

Written by and starring Ianto actor, Gareth David-Lloyd, The Last Beacon will speak to everyone who’s ever wanted a promotion, and everyone who’s ever been stuck with a colleague they’re sure doesn’t like them, and who simply won’t stop moaning.

Simply put, it’s the story of Ianto gaining his Torchwood stripes, moving up in the world from the bloke who makes the coffee for the ‘real’ Torchwood team to being a full and active member of that team. It’s an assignment, a test, and an utter joy from start to finish.

Ianto takes on the assignment of finding and shutting down a signal beacon from outer space, hidden in the wilds of the South Wales Valleys. Which in itself would be fine and dandy – the Valleys make sense to Ianto, even though he’s never knowingly seen without a sharp suit on, and he’s almost absurdly knowledgeable and pernickety about coffee preparation. He’s from the area, which means close-knit communities, relatively insular fields of vision and making the most of the here and now make sense to him, and because he used to go there as a child to see his nan, he feels, if not at home in the Valleys, then at least like he’s from them, a product of all they’ve given him and taught him.

Then there’s Owen. Owen, even before the opening credits roll on this story, delivers some absolutely perfect, gorgeously crafted zingers, guided weapons of precise ‘What fresh hell is this?’ arsery about being made to go into the hinterland of the Valleys, where the primitives live and appear to be perfectly happy. The combination of the two attitudes, Ianto who seems positively jolly among the kebab shops and the cheery, nosy buggers that populate the Valleys, and Owen, who wants everyone to mind their own damn business and leave him alone, or better still, to call off the mission and escape back to the relative sophistication of the city immediately.

What the combination of those two viewpoints gets you is an hoursworth of diamond-sharp, relatively uncomplicated fun. Along the way there are gang encounters, adventures in Welsh culinary robustness, an atmosphere of Welsh Deliverance, ghost miners, geocaching in the pouring rain and…well, yes, badgers from outer space.

A pretty normal day in Torchwood then, really.

Certainly, this is on the lighter end of the Torchwood spectrum, skewing to comedy and to a central message rooted in the idea of close communities being lovely and supportive, rather than oppressive and nosy. The message is a little overplayed towards the end, certainly, but it’s a forgivable flaw because by the time you get to the end, you’ve been so richly rewarded with banter between the two fundamentally different viewpoints represented by Ianto and Owen that you fail to care if the ending’s a little cheesy. Yes, there’s a mystery here, and yes, there are alien badgers, mysterious signals, and actually a poignant focus on the important things in life, but the real hardcore value of the piece is in the character-based laughter it rips out of you. David-Lloyd as Ianto is the perennial new boy wanting to make good, the optimist, the believer in people, while Burn Gorman’s Owen is glorious scorched-earth miseryguts and a fish very definitely out of his comfortable water in this story. The combination of the two makes for a Torchwood story not only more accessible to occasional viewers and listeners than many, but also for a ‘buddy movie’ that recommends itself for a re-listen for the simple pleasure of the relationship.

Put simply, The Last Beacon is a no-lose situation for Torchwood fans. It’s two of the Hub’s finest, trapped together in a situation which one loves, and the other loathes. Plus it touches on the philosophy of human interaction – cities versus towns, everyone knowing everyone versus independence and freedom. And finally, it gives Gareth David-Lloyd and Burn Gorman the chance to revel in the extremes of their characters’ difference, so that everyone wins. Grab yourself The Last Beacon today – you’re going to love it.