Time for Christmas
presents.
When thinking what I
would give every member of the Torchwood team, almost automatically naughty
things came into my mind. Well, not for all of them, but for some of them this
is inevitable. For example Owen – we all know about his love for one-night
stands, short-term relationships and fuck buddy’s. So I was tempted to give
Owen an inflatable sex doll for Christmas, fulfilling his needs so that he can
fully engage in his hobby. But after Owen ‘died’, that was it with his sex
drive and his, well, ability to have some – Dead Men obviously not only don't
wear plait, but don't have sex either. And considering this, it would be mean
and tacky to give him that doll. But we also learned – during this hilarious
and only slightly disgusting scene in the prison cell, where Owen himself not
only learned that his boss once had a thing with Marcel Proust - how much the
Torchwood doctor misses farting. As he was so passionate about it, I decided
that my X-mas present for Owen would be a whoopie cushion. I hope, he likes it!
As for Tosh...well,
funny that immediately that love topic came into my mind. Sigh. It might be
because she always had those unlucky crush objects and love interests – strange
killing alien beings, a soldier from WW1, Owen Harper...my initial idea was to
bake her the ideal lover, but I don't actually know where to find the right
dough for THAT, as this might be technologically too advanced, so that it will
be up to Torchwood to develop or discover something like that. Then I thought,
maybe I should focus on hobbies, when I remembered her saying, Torchwood was
pretty much 24/7. Well, that might be part of Tosh's problem, being too much
stuck with work, so that she really should think about other things, too. In
that very chat with Tommy not learning the piano was mentioned, and being a
mathematical genius, she sure won't find it difficult to learn an instrument
and music. So a Steinway is on its way – only question is, should I have it
delivered to Tosh's flat or to the Hub? The latter could make the other team
members get home earlier at least in the beginning of Tosh's music career.
Oh, and I just thought
of one extra present, which will be an add-on for Tosh's advanced computer
programmes in the Hub, and I'll give her a new scan programme, which will set
off a secret alarm on her computer if someone who's not a team member, but
wearing a gun is somewhere in the Hub. Might come in handy one day!
Ok, I'll be honest, I
didn't plan to give Gwen anything for Christmas. Why would I? But as it's
Christmas after all, I don't want to be awkward, and moreover, I found
something suitable for her randomly. So Gwen is getting a one-way-ticket for a
trip to Raxacoricofallapatorius, which I got as a bargain. This sure will be an
interesting trip for her, and the nice and surely welcoming people from Raxacoricofallapatorius
will certainly benefit from and just love her superior insights on their
society and their lifestyles and absolutely appreciate Gwen's expert lectures
on how they should live and what they should change. Bon voyage, Gwen!
Thinking of what I would
get Ianto for Christmas, now, there was the love theme again, and I was
thinking of some really innovative toys for him and Jack - we know how much
Ianto appreciates innovative and avant-garde-like love making. But as both Jack
and Ianto have access to unique and alien technology toys, maybe the hobby
approach is better here, and besides it's time for Ianto to show off his
talents more often. Considering his love for coffee and his talents making it,
I'll give Ianto his own coffee shop, where he can enjoy his hobby while being
the barista from time to time when Torchwood has some quite days. Oh, and of
course, there will be a special quiet and comfortable corner for Jack to lounge
in, so that he can enjoy watching his very own coffee boy in action.
And then there is of
course finally the present for the Captain himself. Sigh. Well, aforementioned
innovative toys wouldn't do it, since the Captain probably got them all, having
travelled through space and time for ages. But that's just it, he has travelled
in space and time and been lost, lonely and homeless for so long. So now, with
Ianto, it's time and opportunity for Jack to settle down a little in his own
home. Which is why I give Jack his own, fully-furnitured and equipped flat.
That includes a bedroom, well, with a luxurious bed and enough space to walk in
and a big closet for all of Jack's shirts and Ianto's suits, a kitchen with a
good quality coffee machine, so that Ianto doesn't have to suffer from
withdrawal when staying with Jack. And of course it will have a bathroom which
is more of a batharea which has a fantastic and giant jacuzzi in it in the form
of a coffee mug, striped blue and white. I think, Jack'd like that.
Merry Christmas,
Torchwood peeps!
Photo Source:
©BBC Doctor Who 1963
©BBC Torchwood 2006
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